Overcoming Shyness

Why Am I Shy

Shyness is learned from the behavior of those around us (a suggestion) and from what we are told (also a suggestion) as children.

Toddlers will walk or run into any and every situation, not even looking to see where their feet may land. There is no timidness there at all! That is why parents have to be so watchful with the wee tykes.

When children get a bit bigger and smarter and are then exposed to a new situation, they very naturally will watch from the sidelines trying to figure out what the rules are. Once they see what's happening, they will join in if they want to. It's nature's way and it's safe.

Some kids only take a few seconds to understand the rules while others take a bit more time and still others have no interest in the activity. However, instead of just giving the child the space he needs, some parents will then say, "He's shy." And the die is cast.

He's Brave

Even children who are timid in certain situations, are very brave in other ways. Consider

the child who doesn't like to walk into a room full of adults, but sings loud and clear in the youth choir

the child who doesn't like to be the centre of attention in class, but has no trouble making a break-away and scoring in soccer (amid the cheers of all the onlookers)

the child who has trouble separating from mom and dad, but can hardly wait for the day that he's allowed to bike around the block on his own

We are all more comfortable in certain situations. However, parents forget to mention how brave their child is. The only thing the child hears is "He's shy.".

Begin to Change

If you were told as a child that you were shy, you may be still be under the influence of that belief (suggestions become beliefs in the sub-conscious) and therefore limiting yourself by remaining in that place of "stuckness".

The good news is you don't have to stay there any longer.You can overcome the suggestions that you were given as a child and become the confident, assertive person that you want to be. The cure you have been looking for is within yourself.


Self-hypnosis is getting in touch with your sub-conscious mind which is the non-critical part of your mind. The critical part of the mind (the conscious) is allowed to rest during hypnosis and that is why suggestions given during hypnosis become beliefs.

So by taking yourself into self-hypnosis and giving yourself suggestions for confidence in every situation, this new way of thinking will begin to take over the old thought patterns and the shyness will soon disappear. The result is the ability to reclaim the life that you were meant to live, before the negative suggestions affected you.

Imagine yourself in this new way, speaking to people with confidence, going on a date with confidence, asking for a raise with total assurance.


Here are a few suggestions for you to give yourself in self-hypnosis.

I believe in myself.
I face every situation with calm assurance.
I am brave and courageous in all that I do.
I can handle whatever comes my way.
I am strong and confident.
I am as good as anyone.

Choose one or two that seem to fit your situation, or make up one of your own to repeat while in self-hypnosis. Then two or three minutes, twice a day is all that is required to make the transformation into the wonderful, courageous person that you know you can be.

Your self esteem and self confidence grow and you leave the old fears and doubts in your past.


If you are a parent, please remember that what you do and what you say are suggestions for your kids. Keep your comments positive. If you must use the word "shy", or if in the past you have used it, then start to point out how at other times that same child is very brave. Allow him to overhear you telling others about his bravery.

And when your child sees you improving your life, what a powerful suggestion that is!