Before using suggestions in self-hypnosis to raise your confidence, let's take a look at how confidence levels are determined. This usually happens very early in life.
There is a natural order of events that leads to a behavior. Natural, because it happens to all of us, we don't even know it's happening. Guess what the first step is. Suggestion, just what we've been talking about all along.
Who is Suggestible?
Everyone. Children, because they don't have the experience or the information to think critically. And adults, because whenever your focus is narrowed, you enter the sub-conscious. And of course the sub-conscious (sometimes called the child's mind) accepts suggestions.
Advertisers are very aware of this fact and use it regularly in their campaigns to get you to buy their product. They tell you that it will improve your life and that you "deserve" to be satisfied in whatever way the product works. This begins a chain of events ending in you going out and buying the product.
Have you ever bought an item and then, after getting it home, wondered what you were thinking? I have.
Suggestions that are accepted become beliefs.
Someone you trust and admire said, "You are a great dancer." Since you trust that person, you believe it. (As an adult, the "critical" conscious mind is at work, but you base your belief on the fact that this person is trustworthy.)
Beliefs become Feelings.
Again it's a natural and automatic flow. If you believe that you are a great dancer, you will have the successful feelings of a great dancer.
Feelings then become attitude.
The successful feeling becomes a confident attitude. You are unafraid to ask women to dance. (You only hope they can keep up with you!)
Attitudes become behavior.
You will dance often. At weddings and parties you rarely miss an opportunity to float across the floor.
Let's look at the same sequence, but this time with a negative suggestion. A child is told, "Don't be so stupid."
Suggestions become beliefs.
Since the child hasn't developed a filtering mechanism to block suggestions, it is accepted and automatically becomes a belief.
Beliefs become feelings.
What would this child be feeling? Sad, unloved, rejected.
Feelings become attitude.
His attitude becomes "Why should I even try." (Remember, he believes that he is stupid, so what's the point in trying.)
Attitude becomes behavior. He won't study for tests or put any effort into projects because he already "knows" that he won't succeed.
The saddest part of this example is: the child is not stupid. There are no stupid people. We all have talents and we all have abilities.
However, as long as he believes it, it is true for him.
He will make all decisions based on that belief. What courses will he choose in school? The ones with no future. What type of work will be pursue? A dead-end job. He will make stupid decisions about drugs, alcohol and a partner in life.
Can you see how this natural order of events effects people in the following circumstances?
A son (let's call him Charlie) is born to a very successful author and his charming wife, who happens to be a well known surgeon.
The adults are very busy but they make sure that they have time every day to spend with the boy and to encourage him in all of his endeavours. They speak kindly to him and to each other. Charlie watches (also a suggestion) how his parents put a lot of effort into their work, and also into their private lives.
What is Charlie going to believe about himself? What will his feelings be, his attitude and behavior?
Now let's imagine the same boy, Charlie, is born into a different family. The father is involved in drugs and alcohol and rarely takes his eyes off the T.V. His mother works long hours at Wal-Mart trying to make ends meet and is so tired when she gets home that she has no time for Charlie. When he asks to do something with her she shouts at him to leave her alone. He learns very early not to go near his father because sometimes he's very friendly and helpful and other times he gives Charlie a cuff on the side of the head just for walking into the room.
What is Charlie going to believe about himself this time? You can imagine, I am sure, how the feelings, attitude and behavior will be different this time.
But remember, this was the same person in both examples. The only difference was the suggestions given to him through the way he was treated.
It is never too late. Wherever you are in your life, whatever your situation, you can change your beliefs. Start with some positive suggestions to give yourself. Learn self-hypnosis and repeat them there.
The situation that you faced in the past that resulted in feelings of inadequacy and unwise decisions has no hold on you once you:
- First, realize how the mind works and
- Second, start to change the chain beginning with appropriate suggestions.
A Little Story
I wonder if you have heard of Babe Ruth. Most people recognize the name and associate it with home runs. Babe Ruth is still considered one of the best baseball players in American history.
But, most people do not know the whole story.
He surely did get a lot of home runs, but he also had one of the highest strike-out records. When Babe Ruth came to the plate, he was there to play ball, the best way he know how. He swung at every pitch that came near the plate. He didn’t wait to be walked. He wanted a hit and he wanted to knock it out of the park.
So, he struck out a lot. But, he also got a lot of home runs and when we hear the name Babe Ruth, nobody remembers the strike outs. We think ‘home runs’ and we think “one of the best players on record”.
Most people admire those who try, those who put forth an honest effort.
Be like Babe Ruth. Swing hard every time you come to the plate, forget the strike-outs and go for the home run every time.